ADMITTING “I CAN’T DO THIS”

~ by AJ Myers

21 0730

I have spent much of my career over the past decades fully believing to be strong, I needed to be an “I can do this” type of person.

This morning, I meditated on Ecclesiastes chapter 2. King Solomon, the wisest and wealthiest man to have ever ruled ruminated on the meaningless of all of his labors, his accumulated wealth, and his pleasures. What sacrifices, what consequences did I incur because of my belief that to succeed– to be successful– I had to have this unshakable attitude of “I can do this?”

I think back on the number of times I put my spouse, my children, my family, and my closest friends to the side because of saying, “I can do this,” when instead of humbly admitting, “I can’t do this.”

I’ve spent most of my life trying not to regret anything, and yet, here I sit looking back at those times wishing I could have a redo. “I can’t do this,” would definitely be added to my vocabulary. Admitting “I can’t do this” helps to establish a healthy balance and prioritizes what truly is most important.

Two carefully planned trips to Hawaii, fully paid air, hotel, and vehicle, to introduce this paradise and part of my island family, to my spouse and children, was what we had discussed for a while.

Since that’s where I was raised, we talked about the turquoise color and clarity of the Pacific Ocean, the diving and snorkeling and undersea wonders, surfing, island foods, hiking along the Na’ Pali coast of Kauai, boating up Hanalei River to the Fern Grotto, hiking up Waimea Falls on the Big Island and watching the dawn mist reveal its mysteries, visiting Parker Ranch, flying over Kilauea and Mauna Kea to witness lava erupting, viewing Molokai’s highest sea cliffs in the world, and hearing the gunshot sounds of bamboo snapping in the forest in Mo’ole Valley. There is the whaling community of Maui, snorkeling off of Molokini, Lanai, and Hanauma Bay, and mimicking my childhood picking wild lilikoi, guavas, mangoes, avocados, and gathering fresh watercress. Spearing for our own fish and snatching up lobsters was especially something my boys wanted us to do as a family.

So, these two trips were planned and pre-paid. All of our appropriate friends and family, as well as our clients, were notified that these trips were non-refundable. The first time, we just about made it to the airport, long-term parking when our largest client called demanding we return to attend to their crisis…, their emergency…, their need…, their success.

I looked at my children and the disappointments on their faces were undeniable. Yet all of them verbalized, “Mom we understand. You need to go back to the office and deal with your client.” The second time we didn’t quite get to the airport. We were still driving on the highway, when again, the same client called and once again demanded that either we turn around and come back and attend to their crisis, or our Agreement with them would not be renewed.

I think back wondering and pondering how things would have turned out differently if I had adopted the attitude of, “I can’t do this.” How would the course of our life changed? If I had practiced self-care, self-love, maybe the devastating consequences of the auto accidents wouldn’t have taken such a toll on me. Would my relationship with my stepdaughter be healthier, today? How many priceless moments did I sacrifice and pass because I refused to say, “I can’t do this?”

I am gratefully blessed with the gift of my husband’s children. They aren’t just stepsons, they are my SONS!

These boys have embraced everything about me: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

They have grown into amazing, well-balanced, self-sufficient, community-contributing men. They knew or had understood me saying “I can”, was about me giving them a better life; securing their college tuition. “I can” allowed us to live in an affluent community where their classmates were driving BMWs, and Porsches, and Hummers.

Too often we convince ourselves, to have, we need to work crazy hours with this “I can” attitude.

Today, I know that is not so. What would I have gained if I had said “I can’t do this?”

Please post your thoughts, or share if you have an “I can’t do this” regret.

#humble #noregrets #inspiration #heart2pen

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